Violins. Poor me.

Oh, boy.

First of all, I had a terrible weekend. I can't believe how difficult it has been. Let me start from the top and just bear with me. Also get your tissues out, this is a doozy.

My first plane ride ever was a frustrating one for all of the other passengers, but I was excited to get the full flying experience in one gulp. Not sure if you heard about it but it was on the news that ALL of Southwest was grounded because they had a computer failure. This was for hours, man. I was supposed to leave Salt Lake City at 7:55pm, didn't end up leaving until like midnight. I know in the scheme of flight delays that's not the worst thing in the world but people on the flight were freaking the fuck out! I was just happy that I was on the ground when computers were on the fritz. I met this old couple who apparently used to drive trucks and they bought me dinner after I told them that it was my first flight. They could also tell how nervous I was about the flight and were OVER nurturing about it. When we finally got on the plane (for the second time since the computers went down when we were already on the plane and they let us get off of it) the woman was telling the stewardess how it was my first flight and that made the cute girls in front of me giggle, I felt like I was being dropped off at school and my mom made me look uncool. The entire take off she was like "okay, Kenney, here we go. Are you okay?" and I didn't wanna' be rude because she was legitimately concerned so I just rolled with it. It's not like I would ever see these people again. I was SO stoked when I was in the air. It was dark and the lights from the city just looked outstanding. I posted a picture of it on my IG, but it didn't come out very well. I felt bad because when I landed a local driver for Central was supposed to pick me up, take me to the truck and give me the keys. Since we got delayed I didn't get there until 1:30am-ish and for a local driver that is pretty much hell. Luckily it was a Friday and he didn't work the next day. Phoenix was SO goddamn hot. I couldn't stand it. It was sticky and I just know I was rancid. And not the Tim Armstrong version... Well... Maybe. Anway. He shows, I say goodbye to my uncool, white airplane grandparents and he takes me to the truck. It's a beauty. Although it's white and I wanted black, it is such a step up from the Peterbilt I was in. It's HUGE on the inside in comparison, incredibly clean and is lacking one Columbian taking up room. I will post pictures later. Central will charge you if you idle your engine for too long, wasting fuel, which would suck in the heat but this truck has an idle opimizer, pretty much you set a temperature and it turns on/off to keep it at that temp. I'm trying not to abuse it. Trying. But seriously, if they want me driving that much then they need to give me some rest. Also had a brand new bed in it. The mattress had the plastic on it still. So stoked. Bad part is that I don't have a working car charger, I had been using this rad self powered inverter that David had in his truck, so I had to take the hit and buy one too. Fifty bucks, but at least I can charge my computer too. That will come in useful when I get stranded in Dallas (you'll see).

That's the end of the good stuff. So I sleep in the truck on Friday night and am stoked to start heading West in the morning. I get up Saturday to a call from the weekend driver manager telling me I have a load and it is headed to Lousiana. That ain't West dawg. I tell him, his name is Tony (Tony is an asshole, you'll see) "Tony, that's not gonna' work. I was supposed to be home ten days ago and I know there are loads coming out of Phoenix back West" he tells me that there are none and that I can either take this load or sit in the yard until Monday when my actual Driver Manager, Mike, is going to be in. I tell him I'll sit. I don't care. Not going to Lousiana. He then calls Mike (1) and tells him, Mike gets pissed apparently and tells me that as a company driver I am not allowed to refuse loads (2) and that if I take this load my chances of getting a California bound load will be much better (3). I might as well take it because it's good money too, so I very angrily accepted to load. Before I did though, I see that the load was supposed to be started about thirty hours prior and that there is not enough time to get there by the scheduled drop off time. He tells me that it's fine and that they are aware of it (4) and that if I just drive ten hours a day it will be close enough. Fine. I pick it up and start heading East. Drive all day and I stop about one hundred miles East of El Paso, not entirely sure where I was. At this point it was like three in the morning and the truck stop was COMPLETELY full but I was out of driving time and needed to stop, so I parked in a spot that I wasn't supposed to, but drivers park there all of the time, and get down to get a shower. Surprise. Locked my keys in the truck. First day out and I lock the fucking keys in the truck. I couldn't believe it. The truck I was in before would not let you lock the truck with the door open, preventing this stuff from happening and I just got used to that. What sucks is that since I just got the truck, I still had the spare with the actual key. Smart move, jack. I go inside and waste twenty bucks on this stupid lockout kit that is useless and did not work at all. Had to bite the bullet and call the company to get a locksmith to open the stupid truck. Turns out that the company will pay for the locksmith, which was rad (and made me even more pissed about the dumb lockout kit seeing as how I should have called them to begin with). Dude comes out, opens the truck and I pay the man. This took two hours, it is now five in the morning and I am going to bed. I wake up to an angry phone call from a different driver manager saying why I haven't sent them any of the required daily messages, I tell him I have and that they're in my outbox, I was seriously looking right at them, he says no and HANGS UP ON ME. I couldn't believe it. He calls back a few minutes later and just says "truck number?" I tell him and he says he is going to do them for me and that he couldn't believe I hung up on him. I told him I thought he hung up on me. Apparently something messed up somewhere and both of us were pissed for the same reason. Point of that story is that my Qualcomm is not sending messages. Great. I wake up Sunday morning, after only sleeping like five hours because I was super paranoid about the truck being towed or getting a ticket for where I was parked, take a shower and keep moving East.

I call Tony and tell him that as I already said, this load is going to be late and he FREAKS out. He asked why I slept in and all sorts of other garbage (Federal law is that you have to have ten hours of rest between driving, by the way). I tell him that I didn't and that I drove the ten hours, actually a little more, like he told me and he just keeps saying that I fucked up. I can't stand Tony by the way. He finds another driver to complete my load and gets me a different one that delivers later, before I can check my driving hours he accepts the load for me, which is a BIG no-no in the trucking business, especially without looking at hours. He asked me if I could get THAT load on time (prick) and I tell him since he already accepted it for me that it doesn't seem like I have choice. My friend Tony has me going to Alabama and then Illinois. That's not West. I call him back immediately and am furious. He tells me that my odds of getting a load to California from Illinois was much better than from Texas (5, you seeing a pattern here??). I start going and about an hour later I pull over to check my hours, nope, I don't have the hours to complete the load. I called him and he FREAKS out again because I called, he said he has too many drivers to be talking to me. I tried to tell him that my Qualcomm wasn't sending messages and he says to just send them and he will respond then hangs up. I send a message saying that I didn't have the hours, he never responds. At the very least I need to get this load to the next driver so that he can finish it so I keep going. I get there and at this point I only have one hour of drive time left, I still need to go get loaded (the other driver was supposed to get the trailer loaded before I got there, but didn't) and that is like thirty miles away, I can't shut down and sleep at the shipper so I call Tony again and tell him. He FREAKS out and says that I should have told him, I say I called to tell him and he told me to just send a message that he never got. He says something along the line of "here come the violins, poor you" and blah blah blah. I REALLY hate Tony. He tells me that I have to go get the load anyway and that I need to just take the violation. I don't, that's stupid. I tell him that I am going to shut down and talk to my actual DM in the morning. I shut down in the yard (which was stupid because I have no food and there is no bathroom but I didn't know what else to do with such little driving time left). That's the end of it. I lost all of my loads and have nowhere to go. I try to get some sleep but the check engine light turns on and that makes the idle optimizer not work. So I go to sleep with no air condition, pissed off and ready to get yelled at by Mike in the morning.

First thing this morning, my truck is 95 degrees inside by the way (I only slept like five or six hours because of this) I call Mike and yep, he mad. I tell him everything that happened and he realizes that this is all Tony's bad. Not mine. Thank God. He tells me that I should never accept loads I don't have the hours for and I tell him that Tony accepted them for me and the rest of the story and he is furious. Turns out Tony is new and that he has been lying to me for two goddamn days. He says that I should not have left Phoenix and that he needs to get me home. He is obviously annoyed with me too for not refusing them but I tell he is the one that told me I had to take the load at least that's what TONY SAID. Turns out, Tony was lying about that too and that he never even talked to Mike. I flip out. I should have never been to Texas, I probably should have been home right now. So now I am in Texas, at a yard, with ONE driving hour left because Tony wasted all of them telling me to drive ten hours a day. Mike gets me the address to the nearest truck stop and tells me I need to shut down there and reset my hours (this is a thirty four process, essentially a day off).

So here I am. In Dallas, Texas at a truck stop. The check engine light turned off again and hasn't come back on (not sure what that is about) and my optimizer is working again. I just got off of the phone with Mike again and he already has a plan to get me back home after I reset. So I am going to be stuck here until Wednesday morning, but at least I am with an actual DM who understands what's going on instead of giving me impossible loads and wasting my time. He's not nearly as annoyed with me as he was before and our last talk was actually a good one. I feel like such a little kid out here, just like with any new job, but it makes it worse that I am on my own. I got lost once on my way to the yard, which is terrifying in Texas because there are a lot of low clearances and construction zones. I was going like forty on the freeway but it was two in the morning so there wasn't anyone behind me. I'm just glad to be in a cool truck, with a plan to get home and honestly even though it is going to take me some time to get home, at least my DM is dead set on making it happen and isn't going to mess with me or reroute me anymore. And honestly, I am so tired from the bad sleep and the long driving days, I can use a day off. Just washed my clothes and once it's not so hot outside I am going to take another shower. Huge ups for Mike. Fuck you, Tony.

In case you didn't catch it, I was numbering the lies Tony told me. Five. Five lies that completely ruined my weekend and made it so that I will not get home for even longer. Thanks, Tony. I hope you fall down in public in front a girl you like, you prick.

I can't think of a David quote right now. I am failure. I need sleep.

I sincerely miss everybody and could really use some people to talk to. Text me because pretty much for two days I am going to be lounging around being a truck stop fly. Nobody likes that guy. 559-346-9903.

Bear out.

Player piano (100 miles and runnin')

Hi, friends!

So today was a good day. Even though I've been awake since 10:00pm last night driving from Laramie (you remember that place where I almost died?) to Salt Lake City. Got to the main company terminal and took some tests so that I can FINALLY get my own truck. Aced 'em by the way. There were two written tests, I missed three on one and only one on the second mostly map reading, as if I would actually do that) and general company procedures. The next part was another behind the wheel test. I told the dude testing me that I was mega nervous and he just said "why? You've been doing this for two months already. I'm not trying to trick you" and that was true and calmed me down. I stress too much, man. I made one mistake on the driving, but it was mega minor, more of a precautionary thing, not leaving enough time when making a left turn. Whatevs. Then they made me back, which any new truck driver will tell you is probably the hardest part of driving. The other guy that was testing did his in one try, didn't have to stop, pull up or even get out and look (which is a pretty big deal because even season beastie drivers get out), took him all of thirty seconds. NOT ME! I took my goddamn time. Took me like five minutes, I got out like four times and I pulled up to get a better angle three times! The dude testing me was saying what David has been telling me when it comes to my back, which is that I over correct, I have it and then I fuck it up by thinking I don't and make unnecessary turns. Did it get in there? Yes. Did I hit anything? No. So fuck off. Haha!

On the David note, I am pretty bummed and frickin' thrilled to not be with him. I am going to enjoy the space so much, but he is a cool dude. I will definitely keep in contact with him. Not much else to say about that.

So I am currently sitting in the Salt Lake City airport, they're flying me to Phoenix to pick up a truck that just got repaired and I finally get to see beautiful California again. It's a 2013 and the repair was more to the refrigeration unit than the truck, so that's positive. I've never flown, and even though this is a short flight, I'm pretty nervous. I think I should get a pass on that though. Bears don't have wings, dawg. There is a player piano here and it is JAMMING. It has already played "I'm on Fire", "Uptown Girl" and "Eyes Without a Face". Rad. Alright, I'm exhausted and words are not flowing at all right now. Sorry for the short post. Look to the sky.

David on Bad Religion: "Man, is that your favorite song? You've been listening to it all day." (It was a playlist of six Bad Religion records)

Bear up up and away.

A test of patience and work ethic

***Hi. I wrote the first of these entries on Thursday, 06/13, but didn't have an internet connection to post it. The part I wrote today is after the set of asterisks (or starry things for my slower readers). Love you***

Yesterday (Wednesday) was a good day. We were on our way to Wisconsin (where I am currently typing this) and we got a message on our Qualcomm, a GPS/messenger/day-revolves-around-it type machine, saying that I had 181 of my required hours and that they are going to start routing me back to California so that I can get my own truck and finally get back home. I was supposed to go to sleep when we got that message but man, I was so excited. As fun (??) as this has been, I am ready to go home. From here on out I will not be gone for more than three weeks at a time, but most of the time it will be two weeks. With the exception of two days, I've been gone for about seven weeks. It was one thing being on tour with your friends, time flew, but out here your only company are your thoughts and David. Both of those things are fucking nuts. Also, now that I will be out on my own I should have time, sometimes at least, to visit my friends throughout the country. Pretty excited to see people that I haven't seen for years.

Today was a yesterday-killer. I was minding my own business, driving, listening to Dillinger Four when my phone died and that meant no music. You've driven without music, it sucks. Then we get a message for our next load, which I am stoked because it is the one routing me West. Nope. Michigan. That wasn't part of the deal. I immediately called my driver manager, but she was not at her desk and has yet to call me back. Odds are they are routing us that way so that we can get a load heading West, and it isn't TOO far out of the way, but still in the opposite direction of where I want to be going. I am doing everything I can to get back to Fresno by Sunday so that Vero and I can go to this wedding show at the place we want to have our wedding. I'll drive all night if I have to. I can be pretty much anywhere in two days, with David's help and driving my ass off, but when I get back to Fontana I still have to take a few tests and then wait for a truck to available for me to take (they normally go through services like oil changes, belts and normal wear and tear crap like that). Still, fingers crossed. If they keep messing with me and sending me East I may not get back until Saturday or even Sunday and that would be an endless bummer.

Time will tell. I am trying to remain positive. Someone's gotta' get this beastie full of forty two thousand pounds of onion rings to the people, damn it! I am just the bear for the job.

David on the $wingin' Utter$: "Slow down! Slow down...! Oh... I thought there was something wrong with the truck. This sucks."

Bear out.

***

How things change in the matter of a few hours. It is currently Sunday (you remember, the day I wanted to be back by at the latest) and I am currently sitting in a driver's lounge at a truck stop in humid, hot Birmingham, Alabama. It's been a hectic weekend, to say the least. When you're going from shipper to reciever you always have a deadline, or appointment time to get there by whether it is just to drop off your trailer and pick up another one or if it's to get loaded or unloaded. Either way, you get there on time, you get your load taken care and you keep moving. Three days in a row my load has not been ready and that kept pushing back my next load, just completely obliterating all of my plans. And these are not small delays, there's been like twelve or twenty hour push backs. And there is NOTHING you can do about this. I found myself in Wal-Marts and driver's lounges just fiddling my damn thumbs for hours. With no internet of course (or else I would have posted that previous written blog). Now yesterday (Saturday) was the worst day I've had out here so far. So the plan was after Michigan to go to Indiana to deliver in Iowa, then to Oklahoma, then Texas then Utah where I would get my own truck and FINALLY get home. Nope. On our way to Oklahoma they rerouted us to Alabama because another driver ran out of driving hours and he had a priority load. Now from Alabama we go to North Carolina then Wisconsin, Idaho and SUPPOSEDLY straight back to California by like Saturday. I was so mad, dude. And there was just nothing to be done about it. I honestly wanted to quit until I talked to Vero and she talked me out of it, although she was disappointed that I wasn't going to get home any time soon either. I've been gone for so long now and I am so close to being done with this, it would be such a waste to give up now. I'm glad I have her and my family to keep me focused. There's a job to be done and I just need to shut up, man up and get it done.

I slept fourteen hours the other day, I've never slept that long in my life. I just couldn't keep my eyes open, it was my first "day off" since the truck broke down in Salt Lake City a few weeks ago, and it was alright because it was one of those delayed loads so I had the time to do it. I'm not saying that this job is hard, because it isn't, but it is exhausting sometimes. Especially since you have don't really have days off and you can only get so comfortable in that small truck. I can't wait to get my own beastie and to bring my guitar with me. And to not have to sleep on the tiny top bunk!! Eventually I'm going to get a dog, too. So excited about that idea. Yesterday I drove for ten hours and I seriously ran out of things to think about. I couldn't think of a single thing to think of! It was insane, and those who know me know that I complicate things and think of every angle of every situation when I let my mind just wander. On that note, I am in serious need of more music. Listening to music for ten hours a day is rad and I have made so many playlists already, but I could really stand to mix it up. Any suggestions are appreciated.

David on my sleeveless shirts: "It's amazing what they pass as muscles these days."

Chuck Ragan and Elvis Presley playlists today. Lovin' it.

Bear out.

Engine brakes and middle America.

Do you know how to downshift an 80,000 pound beastie? That's good. Do you know that you can't do that while going down hill because if you do you will definitely die?? Haaaaa. I wish you would have told me, because that's exactly what I did, with the exception of the dying. About a week ago I was in Laramie, Wyoming going West on the I-80, terrible place to die by the way, during the night. Minding my own business, listening to the Horrible Crowes, probably eating pretzels (which have been my go to snack for some reason) when I see that there is a Lincoln monument coming up. Tight. As I pass this huge ass Lincoln, which was all lit up and outstanding looking, I don't notice the BAJILLION signs saying that if you are a heavy truck (that's me) you need to downshift your beastie and slow the fuck down or you will be dead so I keep going in my second to highest gear, 8-low, when I really should have been at like 6-high, that's a three gear, 30mph difference, and when you're top heavy that is a recipe for a rollover. As I start my descent I notice "hey, this looks steep, Imma' downshift because I am such a good goddamn driver". NOPE. I took it out of gear to grab a lower one and it was over. I had no engine brakes, no control of my speed whatsoever and could barely steer. Being the cool-as-a-cucumber kind of bear I am, I scream "DAVID!! I NEED HELP!!" with masculine musk just oozing from my pours. Quick side note: when you're going down hill, and especially when you're heavy, you really don't want to use your normal service brakes very much because they get hot, can fail and even catch fire... But I would rather be on fire than dead. I firmly, but not sharply, applied my brakes because David was no help at all, pushed my clutch and got into a gear. This made my engine brakes start working again and after a bit I slowed to a speed more fitting for a beastie. My hands were shaking like crazy and this brown boy has never been so pale. My speedometer was past the max that it goes, I was sure I was going to slay my beastie, dude. Unfun. From there we were routed to Oregon, Washington, clear across to Wisconsin, Nebraska and then back to Oregon and I faced the hill again. I've never gone so slow, dude. I was probably going like 25mph, which I know is dangerous as well, but I was smiling and laughing and eating pretzels the entire way down. So sue me.

Other than that instance, my driving has been coming along very well. I still have some issues judging distance when backing up and for some reason I can't seem to downshift well when I'm going super slow. David tells me that I'm ready to be on my own and that if I didn't have to be out for the company required twenty eight days with him, he'd feel confident dropping me off right now. He isn't the type of guy that would lie to make one feel better, so I am pretty stoked on that. I'm very ready for this portion to be over. There are two models of the Peterbilt truck that we are driving, one is small, one is big. For some stupid reason he has the smaller one, even he doesn't know why he picked it and in a few months is going to change to the larger one. He is a nice enough dude, but the complete lack of privacy is getting to me. No J.O.B.B.? Ever?? I don't know how I've been falling asleep. It's strange, but I'm starting to sleep better while the truck is moving and bouncing everywhere than when we are parked for the night. But I do have a talent of sleeping anywhere, and looking back, even on the tours I've been on, if that van was in motion, I was out like a light. I guess I just like be rocked to sleep (are you reading this, Veronica?! I'm also going to need a glass of milk and a song or story).

A few weeks back we went through Palmyra, Pennsylvania and that is where I want to retire. The whole little town is ran by Hershey's! There is a Hershey amusement park, the street names are like Hershey Way and garbage like that and their bank is the Hershey Federal Credit Union! I'm pretty sure cash is no good there and you can only pay in Kisses. It's also IMMACULATE. Every lawn is perfect and green, all of the homes are like these Father of the Bride looking places and you could eat off of the street. The only negative is that the cemeteries (yeah, there's two for a small town... Too much chocolate will do that though) are mega old school. Like, the sidewalk in front of them is normal, and then the ground immediately after them is at least seven or eight feet high, meaning that their dead is buried essentially above ground and there seems to be no rhyme or reason to the grave plots, it's like you were buried where you fell. Obviously, being on the East Coast you can expect that crap but it is just so ominous and creepy for this California kid.

STOLEN OFF OF THE INTERNET, BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE CEMETERIES IN THE WINTER TIME. WHAT THE FUCK, RIGHT?!

THIS IS HOW I SAW THE OTHER ONE. SO CREEPY. I WISH THERE WAS ONE OF THE SIDEWALK.

So I'm in... Where-am-I, Washington, waiting for my clothes to be done and then we are setting for Wisconsin again, which is lame because I wanna' go places I haven't been yet, but at the same time I want to be in California by Friday so I can be home for the weekend. I miss you cats and I really appreciate those of you still reading this even though I am not updating nearly as much as I thought I would be able to and also everyone who texts me and is patient enough to wait for me to text back. You guys are alright in my book. Love love, kiss kiss. 

David on Bruce Springsteen:
David: "Who is this?"
Me: "Bruce Springsteen."
David: "I don't give a fuck about Bruce Springsteen. I like girls."

And he said this while we were IN New Jersey!! The nerve on that Columbian...

Clothes are dry. Listen to Only Crime's "Virulence". I didn't like it that much when it came out, but I've seen the error in my ways and it is from start to finish awesome.

Bear out.